You work. You save. You invest and diversify. You spend responsibly (well, most of the time). But you are not really at peace with your finances. You are anxious about the future. About the markets. About your choices. You worry about college and retirement. You never really feel like you have a handle on the whole money thing.
This is definitely unsettling, especially for those who feel in control of other aspects of their lives. What is this about, and how can you shake this nagging sense of angst?
First, this feeling is normal, and plagues even the very rich. In fact, there are reasons to believe they suffer even more that we mere mortals, because they often associate themselves—and their identities—with their wealth. And for all of us, there is something about money that speaks to our core values, our sense of worth and our responsibility to others. We measure our worth in dollars, and compare ourselves with others. In fact, we often view ourselves through the lens of others, creating pressure to meet some external, perhaps unspoken standard. Success and failure are often viewed monetarily, and we perpetuate that with our own expectations.
What People Worry About Financially
To be sure, the need to earn an income and support our families is an important premise of our discussion here. You should, and must, and do hold up your end of the bargain by managing money responsibly. You seek expert help when needed and make the most of what you have. Yet even if you feel good about all this, you may still worry about the uncertainties of life—the things you can’t control—that often keep you up at night. What if the markets tank again? If the economy falters? If policies are enacted that are adverse to my interests? (For related reading, see: The Top 3 Retiree Worries (and What to Do About Them).)
Part of the overriding problem stems from the attachments we hold. The attachments to the expectations of others and ourselves. To the “stuff” we hold so dear. To the notion that our worth is tied to our net worth and to the standards projected by the external world. To the extent that these forces are at play, the key to peace may very well lie in the art of letting go. And not in some ditch-it-all-and-move-to-a-monestary sort of way. But making a conscious decision to let go of the outcome. To accept whatever lies on the other side of your best efforts.
Life’s uncertainties, and our human failings along the way, can, indeed, impact our best efforts to build financial security. And it is quite likely you will see this in your investing lifetime. Such detours will require you to adapt your strategies, re-assess your goals and change behaviors as external forces disrupt your trajectory. (For related reading, see: 10 Tips for Achieving Financial Security.)
Fortunately, financial tools and resources have become more sophisticated over time, and you can now find a plethora of ways to rebalance, create asset allocation strategies, research investment options, calculate how much to save and how long your money will last, etc. These tools and calculators—and of course professionals—can help you tweak and revise your strategy, and understand how to best adapt to the changing environment.
Face Financial Changes With an Open Mind
But even these tools can only go so far. You must meet them halfway by bringing an open mind and a flexible attitude. Adapt your expectations of the outcome so you are not tied to needing this or that in order to be satisfied (“I must have a BMW in retirement,” or “I will never give up my beach house”). Inflexibility like this just tethers you to the money madness that grips your psyche! Instead, allow for a wider range of acceptable outcomes, including scenarios far different than your optimal. There are hundreds of variations on a theme, and you can thrive in many different circumstances if you have the right mindset. I’ve heard clients say that they will retire in either California or Arkansas depending on how things turn out. And while said in jest, this is precisely the kind of thinking that will save your soul. (For related reading, see: The Happiness Index—How Prosperous Are You?)
In 25 years of practicing financial planning, I have seen many personalities and their relationship to money. While everyone wants to know that they are doing the best they can with their resources, this alone does not provide a sense of peace. However, I find that when combined with an adaptive attitude, this resilience, and not the level of wealth, is what breeds contentment. So in keeping with the “zen” philosophies, try to embrace the impermanence of life, and learn to let the outcome go.
This willingness and ability to not only accept, but actually embrace a different outcome requires a bit of spontaneity, courage and lightness, even. It’s a conscious choice. And If you can learn to truly let go of the outcome, knowing you are doing your best, you will be on the road to a more peaceful co-existence with your finances.
(For more from this author, see: How to Redefine the Time Between Working and Retirement.)
CR: https://www.investopedia.com/advisor-network/articles/keep-open-mind-be-financially-peace/
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